Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar

Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed

Pretend you are an aviation expert, tap at the windows, saying “Looks pretty tough” then ask somone if they have a bat you could use to test.

Disco dance in the aisle

Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends

Moon passing Delta planes

Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane

Steal businessman’s laptop, play solitaire on it

Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that afternoon

With the person next to you, discuss cannabilism among airline crash passengers on deserted islands

Show off your Batman underwear

Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only)

Switch accents and see if anyone notices

Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone on the head

Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says “e”

Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice “Why do the call it the COCKpit?” then snort as if it’s the funniest thing in the world

Listen to James Brown on your iPod, sing along (especially the “Oooh Oooh” parts)

Wear a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices

Hum the Monty Python theme song

Act like a movie star

Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason

Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling “Yeee-ha!”

With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say “Nevermind. Do you have any towels?”

Jump up and scream “AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!”

Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they’re Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)

Pretend you’re flying the plane

With a fellow passenger, Re-enact the disco scene in “Airplane!”

Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang


  1. Can I add: Spout off FARs including how people are not supposed to be on the plane if they’ve had alcohol and point out that the pilot can legally through them off. Actually did that one!

  2. I have a couple good ones.
    1. Ask to see the airworthiness certificate, and if the pilot can not present it, start screaming and try to get off the plane.
    2. If the person next to you says it is their first time flying, tell them that flights never go as planned. Then reach for your life jacket.
    3. In mid-flight, ask loudly, “What happened to the number (1, 2, 3, 4)* engine?” * Engine number determined by what side of the plane you are sitting on and the kind.
    4. When on a newer plane, tell the person next to you that you can hack the plane to make it fly wherever you want it to go.
    5. Play flight sim on your laptop and act as if you are flying next to the plane in perfect formation.

  3. I liked the one where you ask someone why it’s called the cockpit. Someone must’ve been a pervert and invented the name hmm? LOL.

  4. Start your laptop, start playing a kind of flight simulator, fly the airplane that you’re in it and say loudly and disgustingly “how easy it is, to hack the autopilot and fly the plane and nobody notices it”… ;o)

  5. Do any of these things, you might not be allowed to fly with the airline anymore, or you can also get arrested… So pls don’t 😉

  6. A sign on the exit to the VT-25 hanger stated,”Remember, 800(symbol for degrees) C. max egt for acceleration!”, I am guessing that egt is exit gas temperature, can someone explain the rest to me??I am a former Navy Aerographger”s Mate, (AG3).


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