After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce the problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
And the best one for last.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Please let me know if you have mode like this!!! LOL
an oldie but a goody. i saw this list at least 20 years ago, except perhaps for the midget.
You forgot the best part:
P: Whining noise coming from beneath instrument panel.
S: Returned hammer to midget.
P. Engine is missing.
M E. Inspected a/c, engine found>
P: Cockpit filthy, not fit for pigs!!!
S: Cockpit cleaned, now fit for pigs!!
Pilots made it that way, the pigs that they are…….
Except it was ” Inspected , found fit for Pigs ” Mate
God Created AirCraft Mechanics So Pilots would have Hero’s !
If they would only treat them as such…..
Laughed so much I have tears running down my face
Laughed until i cried…. Well done.
Are there more of these? They’re priceless!
I liked that you had mentioned that when a plane is flown the pilot has to fill out any problems that could have happened to give to a mechanic to make sure they can fix any problems. My 17-year-old son has been very interested in airplanes for awhile and he’s realized that he wants to handle all of the maintenance rather than the physical flying. I think it’s nice that they have to fill out paperwork to make sure that all problems are identified so they can be easily resolved, hopefully, they have the right kind of jacks for aircrafts, as I’m sure they’re very different from cars.
P. AC galley not fit for pigs.
M Galley now fit for pigs.
P. Rat seen boarding a/c.
S. Rat seen leaving a?c/
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