After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce the problem on the ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

And the best one for last.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

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Nicolas
Nicolas
13 years ago

Please let me know if you have mode like this!!! LOL

mARK
mARK
13 years ago

an oldie but a goody. i saw this list at least 20 years ago, except perhaps for the midget.

Alex
Alex
13 years ago

You forgot the best part:

P: Whining noise coming from beneath instrument panel.

S: Returned hammer to midget.

Fires
Fires
12 years ago

P. Engine is missing.
M E. Inspected a/c, engine found>

Andy
Andy
12 years ago

And another;

P: Cockpit filthy, not fit for pigs!!!

S: Cockpit cleaned, now fit for pigs!!

Dale Miller
Dale Miller
7 years ago

God Created AirCraft Mechanics So Pilots would have Hero’s !

Diana De Gilio
Diana De Gilio
7 years ago

Laughed so much I have tears running down my face

Wong Dikto
Wong Dikto
7 years ago

Laughed until i cried…. Well done.

Pauline Chandler
Pauline Chandler
7 years ago

Are there more of these? They’re priceless!

Roger Middleton
Roger Middleton
6 years ago

I liked that you had mentioned that when a plane is flown the pilot has to fill out any problems that could have happened to give to a mechanic to make sure they can fix any problems. My 17-year-old son has been very interested in airplanes for awhile and he’s realized that he wants to handle all of the maintenance rather than the physical flying. I think it’s nice that they have to fill out paperwork to make sure that all problems are identified so they can be easily resolved, hopefully, they have the right kind of jacks for aircrafts,… Read more »

Max
Max
5 years ago

RAAF Oroin
P. AC galley not fit for pigs.
M Galley now fit for pigs.
.