Airplanes can be turned off when you don’t wish to fly.
An airplane doesn’t “let down” before it’s time.
With an airplane, size matters.
An airplane takes gas, a man passes it.
Airplanes can be overhauled when the engine sputters.
Airplanes do not perform over-gross.
Airplanes don’t come with drinking buddies.
Airplanes eventually stop whining.
Airplanes don’t use drag, thrust, wait and balance as a checklist.
Airplanes know what a final approach is.
Airplanes don’t mind if you position and hold.
In an airplane a soft field landing isn’t a disappointment.
Airplanes don’t mind if you’d rather just cuddle.
Only toy airplanes run by remote control.


  1. And just to remind you why an Aeroplane is Better than a Woman.

    · Airplane skin doesn’t wrinkle as badly.
    · Airplanes don’t take forever to warm up.
    · Airplanes like to do it inverted.
    · It’s easier to get ‘trim’ in an airplane.
    · You can keep an airplane from stalling.
    · Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
    · An airplane won’t slap you for being a ‘bush pilot.’
    · You don’t always have to be on top to ride an airplane.
    · An airplane doesn’t ask you to put on a raincoat before entry.
    · An airplane’s thrust to weight ratio is higher.
    · You can easily leave an airplane before sunrise.
    · Airplane exhaust fumes smell better.
    · Airplanes lose weight faster.
    · An airplane does not get mad if you ‘touch and go.’
    · An airplane’s performance is seldom hindered by weather.
    · An airplane will not get mad if you ride someone else’s airplane.
    · An airplane’s cockpit is cleaner.
    · You can calculate the peak performance of an airplane.
    · An Airplane is easy to roll over.
    · You can still activate a fifty year old airplane.
    · Up to five people can ride in the cockpit of an airplane.
    · Airplane’s last longer.
    · Airplane’s don’t droop after many years.
    · You can always tell when an airplane is going to give out.
    · An airplane moves when you tell it to.
    · An airplane will kill you quick . . . a woman takes her time.
    · An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.
    · An airplane will let you use your dip stick anytime you want.
    · Airplanes don’t make you ‘pull-out’ to eject.
    · You can change the looks of an airplane.
    · Airplanes come with manuals.
    · A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.
    · Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
    · When you put fuel into an airplane, it does not spit it out.
    · Airplanes curves never sag.
    · Airplanes last longer.
    · Airplanes don’t get pregnant.
    · You can fly a airplane any time of the month.
    · Airplanes don’t have parents.
    · Airplanes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
    · You can share your airplanes with your friends.
    · If your airplane makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
    · If your airplane smokes, you can do something about it.
    · Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you have flown.
    · When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.
    · Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplane’s you have.
    · Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplane’s, or if you buy airplane magazines.
    · If your airplane is too loose, you can tighten it.
    · You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your airplane.
    · You don’t have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your airplane.
    · You don’t have to convince your airplane that you’re a pilot and that you think that all airplanes are equals.
    · If you say bad things to your airplane, you don’t have to say your sorry before you can fly it again.
    · You can fly an airplane as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
    · Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old airplane after you dump it.
    · Airplanes always feel like going for a ride.
    · Airplanes don’t insult you if you are a bad pilot.
    · It’s always OK to use tie downs on your airplane.
    · Your airplane never wants a night out alone with the other airplanes.
    · Airplanes don’t care if you are late.
    · You don’t have to take a shower before flying your airplane.


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