Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
- “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”
- From a Southwest Airlines employee:
“Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. - “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
- “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
- “Last one off the plane must clean it.”
- Another flight Attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
- Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”
Funny
Had these announced on the same Continental flight from Cleveland to Grand Rapids last summer: – “The captain will now switch off the cabin lights. If you are in need of a reading light, you can press the yellow button over your head. You should not, and I repeat NOT, press the blue button. There should be absolutely NO reason for you to press the blue button” (The blue button is “call for a cabin attendant”) – “.. in the case of a sudden fall in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will appear above you. Once you stop kickin’ and screamin’,… Read more »
On a BA flight from LHR to DEL: Please pay attention to the safety instruction video. It may not be one for the Oscars but it might be the most important thing you’ll ever see.
Another one I heard,” If you would like a reading light, just press the button with the little lightbulb on it and the light will turn on. If you would like service, press the button with the little flight attendant on it. Keep in mind that pressing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn on the flight attendant.”