Ready to take your humor to new heights? Our collection of airplane jokes is packed with laughs that will have aviation fans, frequent flyers, and travel lovers chuckling all the way to their next destination. From pilot puns to in-flight hilarity, these airplane jokes are perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh about life in the skies. Buckle up, enjoy the ride, and get ready to share your favorite airplane jokes with friends and fellow travelers!
Airplane Jokes from Around The World:
Design limits
A stormy flight aboard a Boeing aircraft. An off-duty airline stewardess is sitting next to a man in the grip of serious white-knuckle fever as he watches, through his porthole, the aircraft’s wing bending and bouncing in the tempest.
The stewardess tries to reassure him; she works in the industry and flies all the time, she tells him.
There is nothing to worry about; the pilots have everything under control.
“Madam,” he replies, “I am a Boeing engineer and we did not design this aircraft to do what it is doing.”
What was the problem?
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the
problem?”
“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the flight attendant,” and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”
Professional pilots do not engage in unprofessional conversations over the radio.
While taxiing out in sequence behind a Lufthansa airliner at Frankfurt, a C-130 crew noticed an orange “Remove before flight” streamer hanging out of the Lufthansa nose wheel well (their nose gear locking pin was still installed).
Not wanting to cause too much embarrassment by going thru the controller, the 130 crew simply called the Lufthansa aircraft on the tower frequency: “Lufthansa aircraft, Herky 23.” No reply.
They repeated the transmission and again there was no reply.
Instead, the Lufthansa pilot called the tower and asked the tower to tell the Herky crew that “the professional pilots of Lufthansa do not engage in unprofessional conversations over the radio.”
The 130 pilot quickly replied, “Frankfurt tower, can you please relay to the professional pilots of the Lufthansa aircraft that their nose gear pin is still installed?”
Joker at the wheel
This happened at the small but busy Sarasota Florida airport in 1975. The tower was open from 6am until 10pm and most of the traffic was during daylight hours. There was a National flight in every night about 8:30pm and often had a joker at the wheel.
On a particular dark night after handoff from Tampa approach the controller hears:
“Sarasota tower, National123 with you… (pause) … guess where?.”
The controller promptly turned off all the airport lights – there was no other traffic – and replied:
“National123 – Sarasota tower – guess where?…”
After a silence of about fifteen seconds the chastened National pilot came back:
“Sarasota tower this is National Airlines flight 123 from Tampa and we are exactley 10.3 DME on the 300 degree radial inbound for landing..”
The controller switched the lights back on and cleared the pilot to land.
Pilot in heaven
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joey Shasta, retired pilot, of Pittsburg, PA.”
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.”
The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, “I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary’s for the last 43 years.” Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.”
“Just a minute,” says the minister. “That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?”
“Up here, we work by results,” says Saint Peter. “While you preached, people slept; while he flew, people prayed.”
Lady, you want me to answer you if this old airplane is safe to fly?
When it comes to aviation, there’s no shortage of airplane jokes or shortage of humorous situations that everyone from pilots to passengers can relate to. These classic airplane jokes capture the quirks and surprises of air travel, blending a bit of truth with a lot of humor. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these airplane jokes as we explore the lighter side of flying.
Window or an aisle seat?
While I was standing in line for a jumpseat at the gate an agent was approached by a little old woman and the agent asked her “Would you like to have a window or an aisle seat today?”
Before he could finish she quickly responded with her hands over her head and said “Oh heavens no it will mess up my hair!”
Aircraft Carrier Story
#1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.
These airplane jokes capture those relatable moments and make us laugh at the common experiences we’ve all shared in the skies.
The long wait at airport security was tough on the five-year-old boy
The long wait at airport security was tough on the five-year-old boy. To keep him from making a disturbance, his mother decided to distract him with a civics lesson.
“Johnny, do you know what’s special about America?”
“No,” he pouted.
“In America, everyone is free to do things, go places, own whatever they want … anything except hurt other people.”
Johnny looked ahead at the people being searched by the airport security guards, and nodded. “I think I want to go to America.”
Working For An Airline
“I see that you work for the airlines. What do you do? Are you a mechanic?”
“Well, no. I empty the honey buckets. I operate the equipment that removes human waste from incoming aircraft.”
“You must get paid plenty to do a job like that.”
“Are you kidding? I don’t get paid jack.”
“Well, at least the benefits must be good.”
“Benefits? There aren’t any. We have to buy our own medical insurance. Our retirement plan has been terminated. I only get one space-available pass per year for me and my family, and when we try to fly somewhere during my vacation, we always get bumped. The benefits stink.”
“So why don’t you quit and get a better job somewhere else?”
“What? Leave aviation?”
Airplane jokes are a special kind of humor that bring together travelers from all walks of life.
Thank you very much for choosing Mandarin Airlines
These airplane jokes add a lighthearted touch to the adventures of air travel.
Baggage handlers decided to cover up someone’s mistake
Someone let an airline ship their pet in the baggage compartment. Needless to say, the pet arrived frozen and deceased.
The baggage handlers were reprimanded and the airline was sued.
Several days later, after unloading another frozen pet, the baggage handlers decided to cover up someone’s mistake by going to the local pet store and picking up an identical animal.
When the owner retrieved their pet, they were shocked and amazed.
It seems the owners were merely returning the pet for burial… it had been dead for several days.
Air travel has its fair share of quirks, and that’s what makes airplane jokes so entertaining. Have you ever noticed how everyone suddenly becomes a “professional” at judging turbulence, or how passengers turn into marathon sprinters when it’s time to deplane? These airplane jokes tap into those funny moments, giving us all a reason to laugh about the highs and lows of life at 30,000 feet. Enjoy these airplane jokes and enjoy the ride—laughter included!
Captain notorious for falling asleep in flight…
This one particular Captain was notorious for falling asleep in flight usually right after takeoff.
All the way till landing.
One time the co-pilot decides to not wake him for landing.
Lands the airplane, taxies to the terminal and is just about to park the airplane at the gate as the terminal building is looming up in the window – the Captain opens one eye and says:
“pull up son, you’re way too low.”
Pilots in Antarctica have discovered an entertaining pastime…
Pilots in Antarctica have discovered an entertaining pastime… Flying slowly by the crowd of penguins and watching all of them turn their heads in unison to watch the plane fly by.
When a plane flies directly overhead, the penguins heads go up, up, up, and simultaneously all 10,000 penguins harmlessly fall over backwards.
Looking for airplane jokes that poke fun at the little things every traveler knows? You’re in the right place!
Airport Mix-Up
During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem.
Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away.
Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find a third gate had been designated for them.
After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as they were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement
‘We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should ‘deplane’ at this time.’
A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. ‘Sorry,’ he said, wrong plane.’
Telepathic Watch
Air Force pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The Air Force pilot explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any underwear….”
“The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing
underwear!”
The Air Force pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”
Airplane jokes capture the quirks of air travel, making us laugh at the little things. So let’s dive into some laughs that every traveler can relate to—no boarding pass required!
How ill is the a/c?
China in the eighties. A DC-3 (or similar?) loaded with tourist passengers starts up and is about to taxi. Then the engines are shut down again. The captain leaves the cockpit and adresses the passengers: “This plane ill! We take other plane!”
They all walk over to a DC-3 parked across the ramp. Engines started, and shut down again. Captain adresses passengers again: “This plane more ill! We take first plane!”
Flying often provides a wealth of comedy material, and these airplane jokes get right to the heart of it.
A mother and her son were flying
A mother and her son were flying “Southwest Airlines” from Kansas to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The stewardess asked, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” He said that his mother had.
So the stewardess said, “Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time.”
Height of Confidence!
Security Math
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
We hope these airplane jokes brought some laughter to your day and made your love for aviation even more enjoyable. Whether you’re a seasoned pilot, a frequent flyer, or simply an aviation enthusiast, there’s always room for a bit of humor in the skies. Don’t forget to share these airplane jokes with friends, family, or fellow travelers to spread the laughter—and keep coming back for more sky-high comedy! If you loved this, check out our cool callsign ideas. Safe travels and happy laughing!
