oh, I’m a co-pilot, I sit on the right
I’m quick & courageous, I’m wonderf’ly bright
my job is rememb’ring what the captain forgets
& I never talk back, so I have no regrets
I’m a lousy co-pilot & a long way from home

I make out the flight-plan & study the weather
pull up the gear, drop it & stand by to feather
I make out his mail-forms, I hire his wh***s
& I fly his old crate to the tune of his snores
I’m a lousy co-pilot & a long way from home

I make out the flight-plan according to Hoyle
I take all the readings, I check on the oil
I hustle him out for the midnight alarm
I fly through the fog while he sleeps on my arm
I’m a lousy co-pilot & a long way from home

I treat him to coffee I keep him in Cokes
I laugh at his corn & his horrible jokes
& once in a while when his landings are rusty
I come through with “yesiree Captain, it’s gusty”
I’m a lousy co-pilot & a long way from home

all in all I’m commissioned a general stooge
I sit on the right of this high flying scrooge
someday I’ll make Captain & then I’ll be blessed
I’ll give my poor tongue one long hell of a rest
I’m a lousy co-pilot & a long way from home

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