Aviation Humor

Infrequent flyers have some questions that may seem a bit naive but still cry out for answers

Do 7:47 and 7:27 planes fly at any other times?
Can I exchange my round-trip ticket for one that is rectangular so that it fits better on my carry on bag?
Does the overhead storage cover one’s eyes?
If I fly a DC 10 can I still use my AC razor?
Should I bring my own in-flight meal if I’m allergic to pretzels and peanuts?”
Isn’t it dangerous to make sure the passengers are loaded before take off?
If I happened to be in the head (bathroom) when the ‘Fasten Seat Belt’ sign comes on, can my wife do it for me?
My wife wants to know if a mudpack can be substituted for an oxygen mask?

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