You might be a freight dog if…
• Your airplane was getting old when you were born.
• You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months.
• ATC advises you of smoother air at a different altitude, and you don’t care.
• When you taxi up to an FBO they roll out the red carpet, but quickly take it back when they recognize you.
• You call the hotel van to pick you up and they don’t understand where you are at the airport.
• Centre asks you to “keep the chickens down” so they can hear you talk.
• Your airplane has more than 75,000 cycles.
• Your company call sign is “Oil Can”.
• The lady at the FBO locks up the popcorn machine because you plan on “making a meal of it”.
• Your airplane has more than eight faded logos on it.
• You wear the same shirt for a week, and no one complains.
• Centre mispronounces your call sign more than three times in one flight.
• Your Director of Operations mysteriously changes your max. take off weight during the holiday season.
• Every FBO makes you park out of sight of their building.
• You have ever walked barefoot through the FBO because you just woke up.
• You mark every ramp with engine oil.
• Everything you own is in your flight bag and suitcase.
• All the other pilots wait for you to “test the squall line” first.
• All the other airlines hold to see if you get in.
• You request the visual approach with 300’ overcast and ½ SM vis.
• You make no attempt to deviate around the weather.
-Feel free to add to the list.
ROFLMAO. I’m having a feeling you’re talking about me here in this one. This sounds more like me (in a way). xD
When the only time you ever pull a checklist is on your recurrent check rides.
you begin to worry if the aircraft doesn’t have an abnormality.
you shoot a NDB approach to an airport and scud run to a nearby VFR airport.
your flight schedule has you maximizing duty days ever single day of the week
You carry a bottle of boot prep in your flight bag.
You carry a heated can of type one and have to plug it in at your out station.
You request straight and level at you’r recurrent since it’s the only thing you don’t practice on the plane.
Hehehe! I’m former Old Freight Dog!
You park over the storm drain on a “bad oil day”.
Sure you can catch a ride, hope you don’t mind riding on canceled checks.
If you scrape what appears to be hydraulic fluid from your belly and it turns out it is cranberry juice you spilled several weeks ago.
I WANNA BE A FREIGHT DOG!!! SOUNDS AWESOME!
The liferaft is the softest bed you can find
The cooler doubles as your desk and seat
The handler brings the honey wagon around and realizes they have to carry the Sears 2000 port-o-potty down the stairs
The Airline captain who wants to jumpseat with you to his domicile changes his mind when he sees the puddle of oil under both engines.
You have ever been asked by a mechanic “Would you rather be down here wishing you were up there flying around or would you rather be up there flying around wishing you were back down here?”
OMG! Now that’s some funny stuff right there…….The only thing is I have seen some of this at my own airport. Lord help us all.
Good stuff!
You have a 5 O’Clock shadow twice a day.
You know if you’re a Freight Dog if you live in a 130 sq ft room in Chinatown and get to view “COPS” live out the window.
You know if you’re a freight dog if everyone is requesting a cat II approach and you request a contact approach
You know if you’re a freight dog if the only thing you don’t lie about to get laid is that you fly airplanes
You know you’re a freight dog if you tune into the destination airports ASOS to use it as an alarm clock
You know you are (or were) a freight dog when you get permission from ATC to fly a couple of orbits over Mt. Rushmore, but they don’t know you are carrying stage 1 and 2 of a Minuteman ICBM in the cargo box.
Your checklist includes accumulating structural icing on the way back to the FBO for your Kool-Aid because you know no one refills the ice machine in the office till morning.
When you go for a dump, everyone else in the freight bay can see you while you sit!
You know the best kip to be had is in a hammock across the rear ramp!
Oh yes and that you have a rear ramp!
Loosing an engine with a twin is not necessarily an emergency( unless someone finds out about it)
You pull a chunk of ice off the nosecone and use it as a wheel chock.
You might be a freight dog if running out of coffee is a no go item
You might be a freight dog if you get rest in your camper in the parking lot between flights.
You might be a freight dog if you have a Velcro strip glued to the top of our flight bag for your coffee cup.