Let’s face it, folks. When you’re Cristiano Ronaldo, a mere Gulfstream isn’t going to cut it. Especially when you need to zip between Riyadh, Madrid, Lisbon, and the occasional rendezvous with Santa at the North Pole (apparently, the elves are big fans of Portuguese pastries). Thus, the Bombardier Global Express XRS, registration LX-GOL, enters the chat. And let me tell you, it’s not just a jet; it’s a mobile monument to goals scored and endorsements earned.
For the uninitiated, the XRS is essentially the Boeing 747 of business jets. Think of it as a flying penthouse suite, complete with enough legroom to comfortably accommodate Ronaldo’s impressive collection of trophies (and his entourage, naturally). This isn’t some Cessna 172, folks. This is a 2010-manufactured, matte-black beast, sporting CR7’s initials and goal celebration silhouette. The registration GOL is, of course, a subtle nod to his career (Gol, in Portuguese, for Goal). It’s all rather brilliantly on-brand.
“You know,” muses Captain Reginald “Runway” Reynolds, renowned aviation branding consultant at “Wing & a Prayer, Aviation Marketing,” “most players get a tattoo. Ronaldo gets an entire aircraft. The man understands the true meaning of brand alignment. It’s practically inflight advertising!” He pauses, stroking his chin, then adds, “I’m just waiting for the CR7-branded inflight meals. I hear the chicken is divine.”
— Manchester Airport (@manairport) February 14, 2025
The jet is based in Riyadh, and let’s not forget its recent pitstop at Manchester Airport. Rumors are that it was a quick repair for a cracked window. The fact of the matter is that the plane was spotted near the aircraft transporting Manchester City’s squad. As Dr. Beatrice “Propwash” Perkins, Chief Aerodynamicist at the Institute of Aeronautical Absurdity, explains, “The proximity to the Manchester City squad’s aircraft was purely a coincidence. Or, as we in the industry call it, ‘a flight of fancy.’ You just never know when you might need a spare window… particularly after a few overly enthusiastic celebrations.”
Inside, it’s pure opulence. Seating for fourteen, sleeping arrangements for five. And, according to my sources (read: the detailed spec sheet), a high-temperature oven. Because, as any seasoned globetrotter knows, there’s no such thing as a bad time for a freshly baked croissant. We are talking KU-Band Wi-Fi to ensure Ronaldo can stream his latest workout video while enjoying a freshly brewed espresso, courtesy of the onboard Nespresso machine.
The Global Express XRS, with its 6,200 nautical mile range, is built for long-haul flights. The aircraft will zip Ronaldo from Riyadh to Los Angeles or any other destination he chooses. It also has a cabin altitude of 4,500 feet at its cruising altitude of 45,000 feet, providing a more comfortable ride to the superstar. Let’s not forget that Ronaldo’s journey through private aviation began with the Gulfstream G200. It is just another example of the balance high-profile individuals seek between convenience, privacy, and environmental responsibility.
In conclusion, while the rest of us are battling for overhead bin space on a Ryanair flight, Ronaldo is living the high life. As he once said, “We don’t want to tell our dreams. We want to show them.” And, in this case, he’s showing them in a beautifully appointed, matte-black, goal-celebration-emblazoned, Bombardier Global Express XRS. It’s a testament to what you can achieve when you’re really, really good at kicking a ball. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy a lottery ticket. Maybe then, I’ll be able to afford the wingnuts for a used Cessna.
