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Stewardess Archive
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Funny pre-flight announcement
Posted on June 30, 2011 | 1 CommentThanks to Kerry -
A mother and her son were flying
Posted on February 19, 2011 | No CommentsA mother and her son were flying “Southwest Airlines” from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, “If big... -
Best Flight Attendant: And, after landing…
Posted on December 7, 2010 | No CommentsWelcome to the San Francisco International Airport. Sorry about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. It’s not the co-pilot’s fault. It’s the Asphalt. Please remain seated until the... -
Best Flight Attendant: After takeoff…
Posted on December 7, 2010 | No CommentsThere is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatory. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you... -
Best Flight Attendant: Before takeoff…
Posted on December 7, 2010 | No CommentsHello, and welcome to Alaska Flight 438 to San Francisco. If you’re going to San Francisco, you’re in the right place. If you’re not going to San Francisco, you’re about... -
Ladies and gentlemen, assume crash positions
Posted on November 11, 2010 | No CommentsFlight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: “Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We... -
Some Good News And Some Bad News
Posted on September 22, 2010 | 1 CommentFlight Attendant (after a delay in taking off): “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the machine that rips the handles off luggage... -
New Airline Rules
Posted on August 29, 2010 | 4 CommentsAttendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You’re in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling...