Chuck Norris

ChuckNorris
Chuck Norris doesn’t request clearances, he states intentions.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.

Hijackers squawk 7500 when Chuck Norris is on board

Chuck Norris once shot down three enemy aircraft with his aux fuel tank.

Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare
get cross with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t fly into headwinds…the wind is always running away
from Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is
never under pressure.

Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are
flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.

Chuck Norris doesn’t shoot approaches…he kills them.

Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck
Norris

Two way contact for Chuck Norris is when he hits you with both fists
simultaneously

Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris
broke the sound barrier with his fist.

Chuck Norris was told to ident, the controller was greeted with a fist
coming out of his radar screen.

Chuck Norris doesn’t level off; he tells the altimeter to stop moving

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance… once

Chuck Norris was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so he decided to
punch through them. He then got back in his helicopter and flew through the
hole he just made.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have emergencies, only moments of brief excitement.

Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late; you
are already dead.

A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.

A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Chuck Norris gives med down kicks.

Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.

All survival vests will be fitted with a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris isn’t holding, he is circling above his victims.

Chuck Norris provides close air support via flying round house kicks.

No one knows what Chuck Norris’ tale number is, nobody has ever gotten that
close.

20 COMMENTS

  1. When Chuck Norris flies there are no Air Traffic Controllers! Only Suggesters!

    Chuck Norris pitot tube is a .50 Cal

    Chuck Norris has no need for landing gear…his balls will do!

    Never tell Chuck Norrris to “turn” to a heading. Usually he roundkicks when prompted by the word “turn”. (and “Ninja”!)

    Chuck Norris Airspeed indicator just tells him, how faster the world is spinning beneath him!

  2. Pilots read the checklist. Checklists listen to Chuck Norris.

    There was a guy who once saw Chuck Norris flying. He adopted his first name, and because of that, Mr.Yeager the first man to break the sound barrier.

    The only emergency Chuck Norris solved was “incapacity of descending /staying airborne forever”. That never happened again!

    In case of all engines failing, the stick must be strong enough ir order to Chuck Norris to carry all the aircraft weight.

    When in aircraft carriers Chuck Norris needs no catapult.He throws his own jet into the air, then jumps, and gets into his pilot seat.

    In the movie “Topgun” Chuck Norris was just about to play Maverick part but they resigned. No Mig pilots wanted to dogfight him.

  3. The helicopter & supersonic flight were simultaneously invented after Mr Igor Sikorsky & the designers of Chuck Yeager’s Bell X-1 once observed Chuck Norris round-house someone so fast, his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time and killed Amelia Earhart as she flew over the Pacific. Chuck Norris is unaware of this

  4. Once an airline crashed in a cloud burst,the investigators found out that there was no cloud but chuck norris sneezed while passing above them !!

  5. “Chuck Norris doesn’t descend, he pulls the earth towards him.”

    “Chuck Norris doesn’t use spoilers and thrust reversers on his landings, he only uses his feet.”

  6. Chuck Norris’s first solo circuit was a runway inspection for Apollo 11 on the moon.

    When Chuck Norris is approaching to land, even Superman has to wait in a holding pattern.

  7. ATC doesn’t terminate radar services, Chuck Norris does. With his fists. The frequency change is approved with a round-house kick.

  8. Chuck Norris doesn’t read check lists. Chuck Norris can’t read… He’s a real good fighter and good at sex and thick beard having, but he just never learned to read. Good guy though…

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